KL and the Cockroaches

We were ridiculously excited to get to KL & check into our nice hotel.  Having been up for almost 24 hours, by the time we arrived, we were very happy to make it to the room, with the intention of showering and going straight to bed.  The dream lasted about 30 secconds, as Cat's blood-curdling scream pierced the night's silence, and I dashed back in from my bathroom inspection to find her dancing on her bed, pointing at the corner shouting about a cockroach, or possibly some other type of gigantic bug - she wasn't sure.  Needless to say, with all the stealth of a ninja I leapt onto my bed, taking any items I'd so carelessly thought it was safe to put on the floor.  We stared wild-eyed from each other to the bug, as we tried to decide what to do.  Now you may say it's only a bug, and (as my dad was told repeatedly by some frightened staff in Bali - yay that's where we're headed next) 'they don't bite', but 2 girls in a foreign country after being up for 24 hours... not impressed.  

So here was our dilemma, the bug was between us and the door, there was no way in hell we were going near it, and we had nothing we were willing to sacrifice to throw at it.  This coupled with our extensive QI knowledge of cockroaches (that they're the only thing that could survive a nuclear blast) posed a bit of a problem.  We concluded that we could temporarily shut it in the cupboard, and block off the bottom of the door.  This however proved futile when we discovered it was merely hiding under the door and couldn't get into the cupboard due to the ledge (cue more screaming).  Our next plan was to drop the ashtray on it, until we realised that this required potentially deadly close contact.  The bin, it was proposed, was a much better option - until we realised that with the cupboard door and the ledge this would be tricky.  It was concluded that death by bin edge was the only way.  We made a joint effort to squash it, and missed, until Cat bravel leant out and made a stab (I think she got more of the ledge than the cockroach).  I slammed the bin down which squashed it a bit but it's legs were still waving madly at us so further action was definitely needed.  I made a few more stabs and we eventually had him pinned half on the floor, half on the ledge.  Let the cupboard door slamming commence!  After several slams of the door, would you believe it was still alive.  (Well if a nuclear holocaust can't kill one...)  We had had enough by this point so decided to call in back up.

I headed down to reception and tried to explain that we had a cockroack taking it's (hopefully) last few breaths in our room and would they send someone to finish it of and remove its mangled carcus.  After several tries at explaining, including my best arm-waving bug mime routine, they promised to send someone.  I dutifully trotted back upstairs to check it hadn't eaten Cat while I was gone. 

I'm fairly certain the guy was highly amused to knock on the door (which we opened from the bed) and see us stood huddled together as if a poisonous snake or tarantualla were charging at us.  However, considering the amount of movement the bug made when he sprayed the (apparently reviving) bug spray, I think we were well placed.  He eventually killed it with his foot and carried it out by it's leg, much to our relief.  We were left in peace to try and sleep.  We checked the rest of the room and blocked up the gaps under the doors with spare bedding.  I can guarantee that not one of our belongings was left on the floor that night.  Later on in the week we got a little careless and this proved to be our undoing as Cat's mum's suggestion that the cockroach may be an orphan, proved to be false. 

We were left in peace until the final evening, and I was beginning to think that the cockroach was a one off.  Everywhere has bugs now and then, right?  Perhaps finding a cockroach in one's room in Kuala Lumpur is the equivalent to finding a spider in your house in the UK?  So feeling a little more confident, we ventured out to the shopping centre for a bit, to get a few pics of the Petronas towers at night, and of course to get some ice cream.  We had a lovely evening, and retired to our quarters to pack about 10.30pm.

This time, it was Loz that screamed.  Having lifted her bag to pack it, another little blighter went for her jugular - fortunately it missed and ran across the room instead, and into the cupboard (they seem to like it in there).  At this moment we made a grave error.  We should have shut the door while we knew where it was, but failing to think quickly enough, (and being busy getting everything off the floor) in a second wave it charged at my bed, and ran underneath (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH).  Now we were stuck.  Both of us were on our beds, neither of us was putting a foot, or anything for that matter, on the floor.  This time, I phoned reception, who sent a guy with a broom.  Loz managed to lean far enough to open the door from the bed, and the guy started scouring our room for the cockroach.  He couldn't spot it under either bed.  He moved everything, and searched the room for about 10 minutes, but no sign.  'It is real, honest' we protested as he looked at us like were were pathetic and stupid in equal proportions (fair dues, you might say).  Loz hopped over to my bed, as he pulled it out from the wall to get a better look, nothing.  I hopped over to Loz's bed so he could pull mine out and again, nothing.  Oh wait...  It was climbing up the side of my bed towards my pillow (run, bash, run, bash).  Turns out my fear of waking up with a cockroach on my face/in my mouth/in my ear/up my nose was not so far fetched. 

After the guy left (carrying the beast by its leg again), we began the long process of decontaminating everything we owned.  Every item of clothing was subjected to a tentative extended-arm shake, as we prayed we didn't find any more.  Fortunately we declared the all clear about half an hour later.  We were ready to check out!